Today I am proud to announce that I am officially a citizen of the totally real nation of Slowjamastan. My Slowjamastani name is Urist McMiner. Though my native country of Happyhardcoristan has traditionally had fraught relations with Slowjamastan, in the interests of peace, love, unity, and respect I dutifully submitted my application for citizenship.

Proof of my citizenship is recorded on the republic's website: